My Valentine

IMG_4665I’m not a person who talks about feelings and all of that mushy stuff. But, I feel like Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to write about something that I feel deserves some recognition.

I heard the other day that husbands want wives to be proud of them. Maybe it is semantics, but I am far more than proud of him.

In fact, proud is just the wrong word. For me, I think the right words to describe what I feel about him are awe and admiration.

My husband works very hard to make me happy.
He is fiercely loyal.
He is very honest and ethical.
He is the most disciplined person I’ve ever met.
He is the most reliable person I’ve ever met – if he tells you he will do something, he will do it.
He finishes what he startsโ€ฆ.always.
He ALWAYS, ALWAYS supports me in my decisions.
He is the perfect sounding board.
He is a patient, involved father.
He carries a HUGE part of the household responsibilities. Seriously. Huge.

12470_250717059114_3838009_nI’m, BY FAR, the slacker in our house.

Bottom line is that I’ve known for a long time that I was the luckiest girl in the world to have gotten this guy.

All of that said, you can’t prepare for a cancer diagnosis.

God knows I don’t want it, but like I’ve said before, there are some positives to it. My relationship with this guy is one. This has done nothing but make us closer.

He has been with me to every appointment. No – he hasn’t just gone to every appointment, he has taken detailed notes for me at every single appointment. One thing I learned quickly is that when you are going through this, there is A LOT of information being thrown at you at any given time. Your head is spinning. It is hard to remember what you wanted to ask the doctor or what the doctor said about XYZ. Alan makes lists of our questions to make sure we don’t forget anything. He runs through old notes with me prior to seeing a doctor to remind me of what we talked about last time.

2573_74675079114_4541688_nHe has driven me back and forth to Houston so many times. Oddly, I’ve been there so many times, but am still completely lost every time because I’ve never had to know where to go. He has handled it.

He sat in the hospital with me for hours and hours when I was fighting that infection. He acted as my advocate when I needed more pain meds, food (see 7:10 pm on the time log), etc.

He has spent a countless amount of time (skip over this if you are squeamish), draining a tube coming out of my side into a plastic bulb filled with lymphatic fluid. Diligently writing down the output and celebrating with me when it goes from 65 mL to 45 mL. Gross, isn’t it? He didn’t flinch.

He went to classes to learn how to care for my PICC line, vowing that he REFUSED to let it get infected on his watch. He has dressed my wounds (literally, not figuratively!), hooked me up to IV antibiotics, flushed my PICC line. After surgery, he kept track of all my medications – when I took them, what I took, when I can take them again.

39086_479111209114_1339813_nIf you hadn’t guessed, it is pretty hard to feel pretty after a mastectomy. Especially when you have a drain hanging out of your body. I mean, guys, I have to use a binder clip on a lanyard to clip it around my neck when I shower. It is N-O-T pretty. Yet, he has done nothing but shower me with unsolicited compliments.

He has taken care of running the house when I’ve needed recovery time after surgeries or infections.

He has gone wig shopping with meโ€ฆpoor guy.

2595_69982584114_653314_n

This isn’t happening to me. This is happening to us. So much so that I often notice myself talking about “our surgeon” or “our appointment.”

I can’t tell you why I have been lucky enough to be blessed with this man. I can tell you that while I am a pretty independent person, I know I couldn’t do this without him.

So thank you, honey, for being more than I could have ever asked for in a husband. I’m so lucky that God gave me you.

 

16 thoughts on “My Valentine

  1. Awww. You are so right. We love that man of yours. He really is wonderful. And I know that I speak for the whole family when I say that we are so glad that you found each other and that he is family. We have always felt that way — but this situation has just reinforced how much love and respect we have for him. When I am sitting at home worrying about you, or when you are in the hospital miles away and I am sad that I can’t be there with you… I remember that you have Alan taking care of you. You are blessed. So here is to Alan! Woot Woot! And here is to you, little sister.

  2. What a great testimony to your relationship !!! We know that Alan treasures you, too. May you have many more Valentine’s Days together.

  3. Stop it! Everyone knows I’m the lucky one.

    My wife is pretty awesome, that’s for sure.

    So is her family.

    So is my entire life.

  4. You guys are making me bawl on Valentine’s Day. In my coffee. I JUST DID MY MASCARA, HERZBERGERS.

    Love you guys. Happy day to you both ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Wahhhhhh! This is so sweet it’s making me cry! I love everything about this: Alan’s caring actions, Jenny’s heartfelt appreciation, and your deep love for each other. Thank you for sharing. Alan, you may feel like this is just what you’re supposed to do but I promise you, I know too many stories about spouse’s who have either crumbled or left in the face of adversity. Bless you for taking such great care of your wife and for being such a great example of a loving husband.

  6. You are a very lucky lady. Thank God you married him is right! I have got to dry it up over here. No crying on Valentine’s Day. The Herzberger love story is a good one!

  7. Thank you again for teaching me. I’ve told you before, but will say it again: I know what family truly is because of you two. You both make my heart smile. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. How wonderful, Jenny! I love reading all of that! I’m truly proud of how you both have handled this whole thing. I’ve always thought you guys were perfect for each other — You have always approached your relationship as a team. Wasn’t it evidence enough that it was true-love back in his anti-Apple days??!! haha. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  9. When you’ve worked with someone and seen how hard he works and how attentive he is to all the details, it’s wonderful to read about how that is just a carry-over to the person he is — all the time! Wishing both of you continued love and happiness together.

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