The weird feeling on the ‘other side’ of this fight

Jenny at the Tenaciously Teal event in Oklahoma City on April 28, 2017. PHOTO: Charlie Neuenschwander Instagram:

Jenny is always beautiful. But she, along with 12 other women, shined especially bright on April 28.

Jenny participated in a fund-raising fashion show event for Tenaciously Teal — Carepacks and Cocktails. It was an outstanding event, and we were blessed to be joined by family and friends there to support one of the stars.

Jenny doesn’t like the spotlight, so she was uncomfortable with all the attention, but I think she had fun (see the professional photo — please click to enlarge that photo!).

Jenny also wrote about the experience and how it affected her. It’s a must-read, which is why I re-posted her blog in full below.

But first, take a look at all the photos from family and friends that night.



It is a weird place to be when you are on the “other side” of a cancer journey.

I, personally, was beyond blessed that I had more of a support system then I could have ever asked for. In fact, I had so much of a support system, that when I was called back for a biopsy of the suspicious lump, I knew deep down that it was cancer. I knew God had a hand in the fact that I had a new, amazing boss and team at work, a solid church home with a great relationship with the pastor and his wife, a small group that we had joined a year or so before the diagnosis, and that’s not counting the fact that I already had the best family support and the very best friends who I leaned on so heavily during my treatment. I was set up to go through this journey, and while it was really scary, there was a supernatural peace that my husband and I had because of that.

But, for a cancer survivor, you wind up stuck in this weird place after the bulk of the treatment is over. You are still surrounded by the same amazing people, but they have moved on with their lives. You are “done” with cancer. They aren’t actively cheerleading you on. They love you just as much as they always have. They would drop anything to help you in a heartbeat, but their role in your cancer journey has been completed.

And that makes total sense, but what only cancer survivors know is that things aren’t done. Your journey is not over. It is a DAILY battle to keep those nasty, ugly recurrence thoughts out of your head.

Every single ailment you have – a headache, a weird pain close to the cancer site, a dizzy spell – you immediately go to a recurrence in your head. You play out the scenario of what it will be like to not be able to watch your kids grow up, graduate, get married and have their own kids. You think about how much you want your spouse to remarry, but how desperately hard it is to imagine him with another woman. You go there. Over and over and over and over, you go there.

And really, no one can understand how this daily fight to keep your mind at bay except a survivor. People close to you have a good idea, but they just don’t completely get it.

All of this is what leads me to up to the 2017 Tenaciously Teal Cocktails and Care Packs Fashion Show.

I was extremely honored to be asked to participate in this fundraising event because Tenaciously Teal does such an amazing job for cancer patients as they go through the toughest times in their lives – chemo, losing your hair, feeling like you might never feel normal again. They step in and help make these things easier to bear. It makes all the difference.

This fashion show was meant to raise funds for this outreach; however, I think the fashion show did much more than that.

The connection of survivors is hard in OKC. Support groups are limited, and it is hard to make a connection when you only see these people once a month.

So, on April 28, I got to experience the gathering of so many survivors/thrivers all in one room. Seeing each and every one of these women in their own stage of their journey and realizing how amazing and strong and beautiful they were was pretty impactful. Walking down the runway (even though I was COMPLETELY out of my element) was an amazing feeling.

It was first time since I was diagnosed that I was physically surrounded by so many people who truly understood. As we prepared for the show, I looked at every one of these women and thought to myself how strong and amazing they were. For a brief moment, I got out of the day-to-day worry and was able to reflect just how much I’ve been through in the past four years and how tough I really am on the “other” side of this. I was definitely nervous, but I was proud to walk down the runway and represent our group of survivors.

And for that opportunity, I’m eternally grateful.

— Jenny Herzberger

3 thoughts on “The weird feeling on the ‘other side’ of this fight

  1. I am glad no one was around when I read that. Very impactful read. I wish, as I am sure we all do, that I could take those fears away.
    Jenny represented Tenaciously Teal with such beauty, grace and cancer kicking badassness. I continue to be inspired by Jen!

  2. So glad you posted this, Alan.
    I echo what Krisan said. ^^ I am glad you got to see yourself through our eyes in that moment. I know in the past you have said that haven’t felt like you were tough…that you are just doing what you had to do to get through it. But what you didn’t realize is that you truly were a bad ass. It still shake my head and wonder how you managed it all. When others would have fallen apart…you BOTH stood strong.
    Love you both to pieces. If I could take away the worry…I would do it in a heartbeat.

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